cruel minds
For the life of me, I could not concentrate today for these reasons
- I’m not getting enough sleep
- I’m taking too many classes
- I’m eating too many calories
- I’m bored out of my mind
- I’d rather facebook than study
- Sensation & and Perception is a dry topic
- I’m getting old and boring
- I would rather be a lab rat
- I’m
nothaving too much fun - I miss that special somebody
Maybe I’m just scrambling for excuses. It probably has more to do with the fact that I have such a large (voluntary) workload for school and I’d just rather not do it. I guess what this means is that I need to factor in other activities to balance out the amount of time I spend studying each week (it’s only been one week!)
This may mean that I need to make more friends —- and sure, there’s no harm in that, right? I’m not antisocial, it’s quite the opposite, but to be honest in a soul baring way: there is not a lot of people I identify with, or at least I haven’t found them. I’m not even 100% with the bestest of friends. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Probably No. It’s just how I am. I don’t think a lot of people are comfortable dealing with me, and so I find it easy to spare people of my hot-and-cold nature.
But because I seek “balance” in life, I need to find that happy medium where I devote more of my time to activities outside of studying. I’m just so hard on myself that it’s difficult sometimes! Whether I just need to hang out with some people for one night or just go shopping, I better just do it quick before I burn myself out (again, it’s only been one week!) and perform worse.
This is my Fall 2009 schedule:
- PSYC 102 - Sensation and Perception
- PSYC 142 - Psychology of Consciousness
- PSYC 145 - Psychology of Language
- COGS101A - Sensation and Perception
- CHEM6B - General Chemistry II
… for a total of 20 units. To put in perspective, on a semester system, 12 units is considered “full-time” student status. That’s generally four three-unit classes in a fifteen week period. On a quarter system, 12 units is considered “full-time” as well, but instead it is three four-unit classes in a 10 week period. Generally, quarter systems are much more difficult because of the fast pace. Over Summer 2009, I took 20 units of classes —- but it was split. I took two four-unit courses in 5 weeks, which a normal person may take one more class in twice the time. So, theoretically, I took 20 units over the 10 week span of two Summer Sessions … and thus, I SHOULD be able to handle a 5 class load right?
Right and wrong, I guess, as during the summer sessions (though they were only 5 weeks per session) there was only a maximum of three topics to split my attention amongst. This time I have to split it 5-ways. True, I got lucky that one psychology class has an equivalent topic in cognitive science —- AND USES THE SAME BOOK —- so it’s sort of cheating that I need to learn the material once, but I am being tested twice. Also, they are in different orders of magnitude as far as difficulty goes.
So, the point I am getting at is why the HELL am I thinking that with my current schedule I could survive dedicating 6+ hours per week in the lab? I really have to discipline myself, because while I do believe I am biting off more than I can chew, I can’t afford to slouch because this is actually what I want. The professor that announced the research opportunity ‘interviewed’ me and emailed me back the very same day saying that I’d be a “great addition” to the lab. The position sounds definite, as she was willing to bring me in with a reduced load and train me for next quarter, but I still need to talk to the head of the department.
Sigh. I’m having a migraine just thinking about all of this and then thinking about all the time I am wasting typing this. I’m just so frustrated!
