the many ways to project
So, today I have a meeting with a professor of mine who announced that there were research 199 opportunies available, which are basically special studies courses where you work in a particular lab and receive credit for it. Prior to the start of Fall Quarter here at my university, I had scrambled to email the handful of psychology labs that were looking for students to be enslaved help with current research in the lab. I can’t say I was too pleased by the responses (or lack thereof) because eventually nothing came to fruition and I was forced by my own desire to add a fifth class. Of course, at the thought of five classes —- most people show pity or see insanity. Honestly though, 20 units at an excellent research university can either be good or bad. The teachers may be so wrapped up in their requirement to produce outstanding research that they ignore the students, or so heartless oblivious to the struggles of the every day college student that they set their standards high.
But really, I’m not too interested in any one else. (Okay, you caught me. That’s a lie! I’m a psychology major!)
It’s just, I’m going into this meeting as if I would with a job interview or meeting the head of a corporation. I can’t help but feel as if I must project myself by vomiting up my merits and swallowing down the not-so-good difficulties. And why wouldn’t I have to do this? The professors knows nothing about me so far, and there were a handful of other students who are also looking to fight to the death be considered for the three spots available. I’m not necessarily hoping to impress her as I am to find more information about these opportunities, utilizing them, and learning from them. So in other words —- to make my resume look bad ass.
After my usual morning routine, I figure the best way to project myself is to practice. I hate sounding overbearing and exhaustive; I don’t know that fine line between sharing and bragging and I know that I’m a talker. Sit in a room with me, say hi, and you won’t get to leave for an hour. I just find it so silly and absurd, yet I can’t deny it’s necessity. You NEED to showcase yourself in positive light if you want any position. No one will hand it to you unless 1) your father is their boss 2) you’ve got a nice pair of legs 3) you went to high school with them and you didn’t make fun of them. I’m sure that many a bright student has crossed the thresholds of her office begging to be considered.
It follows that I should talk about myself (it was bound to happen) and why I am interested in this position. So, who am I? I’m really nothing. I’m not the intuitive, quick thinking student with success written on her forehead. I’m just a young psychology major with —- get this —- a big heart (or the ability to make peoples’ eyes roll). Some other things can include obsessed polka dot accessorizer, Siberian Husky lover, parenthesis abuser, high over-achiever, or even the less appealing qualities of being clumsy, annoying, or quietly intimidating (I wish). My desires are simple —- I want to finish school, get married, have babies, and develop a program that enhances children’s creative abilities all for a higher purpose. I don’t have any tricks up my sleeve, and I think that is the quality that would be the most useful out of anything that I could ever possibly do or say while sitting in the hot seat. Sure, the sincerity may not be the deciding factor as to whether or not I’m chosen, but I do believe quite firmly that things are arranged for one purpose or another (with options) and I will go far so long as I stick to my beliefs and stay grounded. Did I mention that I am an idealist?
And I feel “good” about myself, save the few instances of self-doubt and worry, because I know that there are things about me that are good and bad. If this research position is not something that I’m supposed to pursue, I’ll know it, instead of shining the light back down on myself and scrutinizing all the things that I did ‘wrong.” This may be one of the biggest mistakes that people make. I mean, just think, if you’ve ever sat through an interview and had to answer the question “What are your weakest points?” don’t you automatically want to say something lame like “I am a diligent worker and sometimes find it hard to know when to stop” or even “I care too much”? To be fair, that is a tough question to answer. I’m sure some interviewees have made the fatal mistake of using humor and have said something with the words beer or porn, but more often than not, I’m sure people will opt to choose something slightly negative but overall supposed to be insightful to their caring, compassionate nature.
…
See, I was so enthusiastic about this post that I eventually lost track of time and had to scurry on over to the meeting. Overall, it went well [I think] and I don’t have that dirty feeling like I sold myself for two bucks to buy a small soda and a cookie. I’m glad I got to learn more about the lab and it seems like even if the possibility of not being able to work in the lab for 10-12 hours per week, I may be able to land the 6 hour commitment for 2 units. Either way, there is a great possibility that I can just start training for the next quarters so that I won’t necessarily be at a disadvantage as a candidate later on.
Freud would say that I’m happy, or still angry at my mother. I could care less!
